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Things that Don’t Work in the Desperately Optimistic L.I.F.E.

March 29, 2010

The final part of the F of L.I.F.E. focuses on things not to do related to family and friends. Actually, these things that don’t work apply at any point in life since it’s all too easy to get overinvolved in just about anything from community theatre to sports to video games to internet surfing to volunteer activities to a job to whatever it is that consumes your time if you let it.

• Don’t put your life on hold when you’re in school and don’t expect your family or friends to do so either. If you’re a parent, this includes expecting your children to make few demands on your time and to understand that your goals will ultimately mean more for them (more you and perhaps more money). It isn’t likely that even teenagers will be developmentally ready to understand, and even if they were, it isn’t good for you or for them if you don’t maintain strong connections despite your busy life.

• Don’t expect your spouse or partner or friends to ask for little for themselves while continuing to be supportive of your goals. Anticipate that others may feel neglected or hurt by your unavailability (physically, emotionally, and in other ways). Understand that your fatigue is likely to affect your relationships too.

• Don’t expect everyone to understand why you can’t plan ahead for leisure time. Or to understand why you don’t have time for the details of daily life that you may be trying to let go of. Expect and allow for grousing from time to time. Try a whine-a-ton when it seems like everyone’s on edge. Hold a pity party complete with cake and ice cream and bemoan the rotten state of things.

Finally, a do. Do laugh with those you care about. Laughter matters and shared laughter unites people.

What consumes your time and how do you make time for other things that matter too?

More men are killed by overwork than the importance of the world justifies.
• Rudyard Kipling

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